A sneak peak into an RTT session, that includes Transgenerational Trauma Expression and the Mother Wound.
Amanda (name changed for anonymity) came to me seeking to stop being so critical of herself. To use her words, “she is her own worst critic”. This tendency to nit-pick at herself, opened her up to experiences that triggered her inner wounds. Wounded energy she carried around from childhood, that kept her from feeling good enough. She was full of self-sabotage, self-doubt, she had low self-esteem, and worst of all, she didn’t feel she was lovable.
This is evidence of the programming she received from her mother, that was passed down to her from her own mother.
Amanda is well aware that her mother’s voice goes with her wherever she goes. It is like a parrot on repeat that tells her to “do better, stop being so stupid, stop being so emotional, you’re ugly, you aren’t going to find love, because you don’t have the looks, you’re not wanted…etc….”
It is almost as if she was possessed by her mother’s toxicity. …because she was…
Her mother even revealed to her, that she tried to do what she could to miscarry her during pregnancy.
In our session, we set the intention to get to the root cause of the critical voice. It seems obvious. Consciously she knows it came from her Mother, she knows it is best to let it go, but for some reason, she can’t shake the rage she feels for herself, and her mother.
I guide her into hypnosis, and take her back to her first scene. It is of her when she was 6 years old, she was bringing her mother a book, and asking to read to her. Her mother dismissed her, and told her, “Go away, I don’t want to listen to you.” The belief that was acquired from this scene was, “I am not wanted, I don’t matter, I might as well be invisible.”
We go back to the second scene, she was 11 years old, and she was listening to her mother tell her older sister that she shouldn’t get married to a man that she loves, because he was a Mexican, and he had nothing of “value” to offer. At the time her sister was also being offered a penthouse in Chicago, where a man was promising to “take care of her”, essentially she would be prostituting herself out, for a nice place to live and money. Amanda’s mother was telling her sister that she would “do better on her back than to marry for love.” 11 year old Amanda felt dirty hearing these words, she thought, “If Mom is telling the pretty one (her older sister) that she had to sell herself, because she wasn’t worthy of love, what does that mean for me? The short stubby one? I am never going to find love.”
Her ideals for love were being shattered at the age of 11.
I take her back to one more scene, she was 17 years old, she was pregnant, she came down with a fever, and was bleeding heavily. She went to her Mom for help, and her Mom told her, “I am not going to deal with this, your sister already did this to me before, I am not going to go through this with you.” So Amanda was sent off to school the next day, and she told the teacher. The teacher rang up her Mom, and then she took her out of school, where she dropped her off at the hospital. It was the late 80s and Amanda’s mother talks to the doctor, and told him to take the baby. The baby was aborted and none of this was explained to Amanda. Her mother leaves her there alone with no support.
She holds onto the grief inside of the loss of her son. (She intuitively knows that he was a boy.)
This is what lies beneath the surface for Amanda, but how does this tie into transgenerational trauma?
Let’s go deeper!
Transgenerational Trauma is when the experiences of a parent affects the development of their children. When trauma lives unresolved in a parent, it gets passed down to the child unconsciously. Until the trauma is neutralized it will continue to ripple out and affect the collective. This happens culturally too, but for the sake of this post, I am limiting this to the family/maternal bloodline.
Going back to the session, I got Amanda to visualize her Mother standing in front of her. This is when I guided her to dialogue with her Mother, I guide her to express her hurt, pain and sadness so she can begin the process of releasing this energy from her body. I also then guide her to tap into the deeper unconscious energy that caused her Mother to treat her so poorly.
This is where it gets good!
Amanda’s- Mother’s and Grandmother’s relationship is brought to light here.
It was the 1940s and Amanda’s Grandmother was a “lady of the night”. She often draped a red handkerchief over her lamp, and opened her home to have men come over and pay her for sex. Amanda’s Mother grows up seeing that, “this is how the world works.” She sees, and then perceives, that men are loveless, and only interested in appearance, and women are basically only good for sex.
Amanda’s Mother is just a child; and her introduction to the world shows her that, the only way to be supported in survival is through loveless sex. She lossed hope for love. Her Grandmother also appears burdened with having her own children, calling them “just another mouth to feed”. She is burdened so much, that she adopts out her Mother’s younger sister. As it was a “mistaken” pregnancy, possibly from her sex work.
Sooo.. Put on your detective hats…. Are you able to see the deeper links here?
Amanda’s Mother grows up thinking that she is unworthy, because her Mother had very little love for herself or her children. She passed the only thing she knew about survival in this world onto her children.
They were experiencing a collective Mother Wound. Perhaps her Grandmother was experiencing a Mother Wound as well.
A Mother Wound is described as a break in the flow of love from Mother to child.
It carries such an impact on us because it is the very first relationship we experience here on Earth. This relationship begins in the womb. It will create the blueprint that lays the foundation for every relationship that follows the relationship with the Mother. It affects the flow of abundance in life. It decreases one’s ability to receive support.
When there is a break in the flow of love, it fractures the way we perceive love in this life, and if affects our ability to heal. The Mother archetype is to nurture, love, offers emotional nourishment, she offers protection, she is intimate. If this relationship is fractured and these qualities are not available to the child, then it will be extremely difficult(but not impossible!!), to connect with others. The child will grow up thinking that there is something wrong with them, because there is a natural yearning for our Mother’s love and support.
When Amanda was growing up, she was indirectly being traumatized by her Grandmother’s life traumas, and perhaps her Grandmother experienced a severe in the maternal bond as well. This gets slipped into us through the unconscious interactions between generations of people. This is the Inter-Generational Trauma Expression.
Amanda was experiencing triggers that were initiating her into her healing journey, so that she could neutralize the energy being carried and passed onto her. Amanda thought that because her Mother didn’t know how to show her love, that she must have been unlovable. She thought that who she was, didn’t matter; her voice didn’t matter, her feelings didn’t matter. Essentially nothing about her was important.
Nothing could be further from the truth!!
With her finally letting go, and coming into deeper, more meaningful understandings of her Mother and Grandmother, she was able to forgive and release. As she forgave and released, she is no longer triggered by the same ol’ same ol’. Through this works she was able to unplug her self-worth from her Mother, she was able to release the need of approval from her, and she is able to be free for once in her life. She broke a generational curse that day. The energy she was carrying that kept her stuck in revolving around the past was neutralized.
She is now experiencing a lightness that she has never felt before, and she is able to explore life in a whole new light. How wonderful??
I would like to ask, if you made it this far, that you lend a prayer for all of those that are still holding onto these intergenerational traumas, so that they (Hey, and maybe even YOU!!) too, can uncover the healing that is available now.